The day Scott asked me to marry him actually started with a nightmare! Like an actual nightmare that I woke up from around 6 AM about Scott not wanting to be with me anymore, LOL (of all things! I told Scott as soon as I woke up and apparently he was like, great, just great, of all days) Of course, this is not an actual fear of mine, but these days I am under a lot of pressure and have been feeling so anxious lately. Church and concert gigs pile up over the holidays, audition season, I'm memorizing and polishing a gigantic role in a Handel opera in italian, the day job is hectic this time of year, I have promised myself I won't slack in my dance and aerial training when my schedule gets tough, and what about time for my relationship? My mind gets consumed with how to manage all these things at once and I worry worry worry and worry some more. The anxiety dreams manifest themselves in many ways, mostly stage dreams (i.e. performing a role I don't know or haven't done in 10 years), dreams about losing people I love, going to prison, or being attacked by zombies (too much breaking bad, orange is the new black, walking dead (Ugh I'm so sad about Hershel!!!!), you get the idea)
We get out of bed and start our morning routine. As we're getting dressed, Scott asks me if I would like to meet for a drink later at Center Bar (one of our favorite places to get cocktails at Columbus Circle) after my opera coaching since the rest of our week is pretty jammed. While it crosses my mind that meeting after 8 on a Monday isn't super ideal, this request in no way strikes me as out of the ordinary. I'm always up for a mini date, sure!
Scott knows me well. He knows that if he WAITS, and spontaneously asks me to have a drink later in the day and I am not wearing something I feel sexy and amazing in, I will either say no, or go to H & M and buy a new dress. This is just my way. I know I don't need to impress scott with sexy clothes, but I just feel the urge to look and feel majorly hot when we go out together, even if it's just a drink. I want my hair and makeup to look nice and I want to wear my special stay on lipstick so we can make out a little. I get excited every time we meet out, and like to be prepared! I take his cue and throw on one of my go-to plunging neckline american apparel halter dresses that I practically live in and have a zillion colors of, and throw a conservative cardigan over it for day time. He asks me if he thinks the bow tie he picked looks good with his shirt. I tell him he looks great.
We proceed to get ready for the day with every intention of getting an early start. The rain is pouring down and it is freezing when we step outside. We wait for the shuttle bus to the subway. It comes! And then it does not stop for us because it is full. We wait at least 30 minutes. Now we are both running late.
The day is long and crazy for both of us at work.
Scott suggests over IM that we meet at the Lincoln Ristorante for a drink instead of Center Bar, because "We haven't been there in a while." The Lincoln is where we met on our first date. This should ABSOLUTELY be a sign that something is going on, but it literally does not phase me, because I'm busy, stressed out, and my mind is preoccupied. "Sure," I write back. "Let's meet at the fountain!" He suggests. Again, isn't this getting majorly obvious here? Meeting outside? And it's like 35 degrees out? But I am feeling so crushed with stress and people making demands of me at work and frustrated that I have no time to study my music that it still does not cross my mind. He tells me everyone at work likes his bow tie/shirt combination.
6 PM comes. Not only am I running behind to get to my Handel coaching, the 6 train from Grand Central is a hot mess. I wait forever, and then I cram myself onto a train so full that I let myself wave back and forth with the crowd without holding onto anything, people holding me up and pressing against me on all sides. I become sweaty and uncomfortable.
Once I get to my opera coaching with the fabulous Jennifer Peterson, I tell her I should probably leave by 8:15, I'm supposed to meet Scott later. She says she definitely MUST leave by 8, she's going to a concert at Carnegie. Ok then. We do some great work, get through all of Act II of Agrippina, and by the end of the hour, I feel exhausted. My blood sugar is dropping and I'm feeling shaky. I contemplate texting Scott to ask him to bring me a bag of chips or a snack so that I don't get drunk immediately after one sip of martini. I want to eat something but also don't want to order an appetizer at the bar and drive up our bill if we're just having a drink. I forget to write the text because I am busy touching up my makeup and taking off my cardigan so that I can get into date mode. Jennifer comments that it is so cute that I am touching up, and I explain that the Lincoln is a nice place and I need to look good for our date!
I text Scott to let him know I'm on my way and get in a cab with Jennifer to head to Lincoln Center, who will then head to Carnegie from there.
Scott does not text me back. Oh boy, I think to myself, I bet his meetings at work went late and he is drinking scotch now with his team before he leaves. That's just what people who work in advertising do. Well, shit, I'm not going to go to the fountain to wait there in the cold if he's not there yet. I will wait until he responds to my text. When I get out of the cab, I decide I would prefer to head to the bathroom/coat check area at the Restaurant so I can look at myself in the mirror again maybe and stay warm.
I call Scott. "Where are you?"
"Hi babe! I'm here at the restaurant, I'm near coat check."
"What? No! Come to the fountain! I'm here! Come to the fountain!"
STILL, I just am not getting the hint. I really wish I had, because I would have checked my bags so that we could have taken some pictures where you don't see the 40 pounds of New York necessities (musical scores, ipad, water, pole clothes, makeup, umbrella, tupperware containers of food) slung over my back!
But this still does not strike me as abnormal. Scott is the kind of guy who gets ideas in his head-he gets sudden cravings for certain types of food, gets fixated on going to certain restaurants or bars, how his drink is made, building light fixtures or indoor herb gardens with tomato plants that get out of control or going out to buy tactical picnic equipment and maybe look at flashlights and tents if the urge hits him. It does not seem strange to me that maybe Scott wants to make out a little by the fountain or take some instagram pictures or whatever, I am happy to humor him.
So I'm walking and I see Scott standing by the fountain. He is looking at me and smiling. He is wearing his nice long chesterfield coat that he did not wear to work this morning in the rain, but I have not processed this information.
Wow, he is not budging away from that fountain. At all. He has planted himself right there, in front of it. I have to walk the whole way to the fountain while he smiles at me. I smile back.
At this point, I am thinking something is going on, but there is no way it is THAT question, it just would not be convenient to ask that on some random Monday night that has no significance to us while we're all stressed out. It is something else, like maybe he got a raise, maybe his job is relocating him to London and will I come with?
Scott goes down on one knee.
Of course, I am shocked at the timing, not the question. Of course I want to spend my life with this man. We talk about our future all the time. There is no playing games or awkward dancing around talk of where we will be 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 30 years from now. We will be together and trying to make our way in the world as a team, just like we are today. There is absolutely not a shred of doubt in my mind about this.
And then he asked.
Will you Marry Me? (I think there was more here but I had a momentary black out)
YES!
And he put a beautiful ring on my left hand. And we kissed for a while. And smiled. And kissed again.
He told me to turn around and say hello to Josh Merwin, our friend and professional photographer who captured the moment perfectly. Scott had reached out to Jennifer earlier to make sure we left our coaching on time so she could get me to Lincoln Center at a decent hour. I told him I was thinking about taking an aerial hoop class that Monday night at Body & Pole, so apparently he called the studio to make sure I was not signed up and that they should tell me the class is canceled if did, LOL.
I always thought I would cry or something when this day came, but I was too shocked. I was shaking like a leaf because adrenaline was like, coursing through my veins!
I'm glad I didn't eat a snack beforehand, because then we had a beautiful dinner date at the Lincoln, where we enjoyed champagne, a lovely meal, and a bottle of wine. They even took the label off the bottle and attached it to heavy card stock and put it an envelope for us to frame.
Scott told me that when we visited my Dad in Durham over Thanksgiving, he asked him for permission to marry me when I was out on a trail run. His answer was, "That's the best news I've gotten in 30 years." He even told Scott that he made his year when he dropped us off at the airport to say goodbye, but still, I did not pick up on it, because my dad says majorly weird things all the time. Apparently Scott kept trying to snag my cell phone in order to call my mom as well, but every time he went for it, I had it some place different and foiled his plan.
So that was the day! I love my ring, it is just beautiful. For those who don't read all the facebook comments, it was Scott's great grandfather's pinky ring and is over 150 years old. He passed it down to Scott's grandmother, who wore it her entire life. This is the first time it is an engagement ring.
It is perfect and looks like it was designed just for me even though it has been in his family all along.
I am very excited to be Scott's fiancé!